How to Avoid Parenting Burnout

If you’re stuck believing that parenting means sacrificing everything without wanting anything in return, please know it doesn’t have to be this way! Instead, try thinking about “return on investment” to reduce the likelihood of parenting burnout.

The following is an edited transcript of this podcast episode.

In my last episode, I talked to you about concurrent needs. And while that will take me a while to teach you, I can give you one tip today that will help you begin to understand what that can look and feel like –and that is to think like a stock investor!

What if Parenting Was an Investment?

If you were investing in a company, what would you be looking for? Would you be looking for constant everyday perfection and growth? No, you would be looking for results over time. A “return” that’s good enough over time to make it a good investment.

Now, I get that that may sound a little harsh, like, “Wait a minute, are you kidding? This is how you’re asking me to think about my relationships?” Yes, this is how I’m asking you to think! And why? Because you ARE investing, no matter what. And if there’s a part of you right now, that is thinking, “Oh my gosh, how heartless! I really just need to be able to give, no matter what!” The reality is what you’re setting yourself up for is martyrhood. And martyrhood is a slippery slope to parenting burnout. Because, if you’re thinking like this, there’s a whole load of personal feelings in there that tell you that your job is just to sacrifice. Those feelings may have come from political or social pressures, and you may well have inherited them from your family story.

Either way, this is not a helpful or sustainable way to live and love. The reality is you deserve to be cared for and loved.

Self-Care for Parents to Avoid Parenting Burnout

You deserve for all of your hard work to pay you back. And I know that may be an unpopular opinion or something that we’re not supposed to say. But I’m going to say it because I think it’s incredibly important that you don’t spend your life bending over backwards and then feeling depleted and resentful just as you reach menopause, feeling like, “Are you kidding? I have done everything! And now THIS?”

No, none of it needs to look that way! In fact, you can be constantly building something that will take care of you in your “retirement.” And so I want you to begin to think about everything that you are investing in parenting and make your love and your care and your time matter as much as your money. So that when you are actually investing your time, your love, your care, you are seeing a return on your investment with your child’s growth — with the love that is sent back to you. This return on your investment looks like seeing skills and joy develop in your family so that you know that what you are planting is actually coming to fruition.

Parenting Burnout Can Happen When You Give Without Return

That is one of the ways that you will begin to get your concurrent needs met. And it doesn’t mean you have to be selfish. It’s quite the contrary. You just need to make sure that you are investing in the right way to be able to see the growth. And when you see that growth, it will give you so much energy to KEEP investing.

Why are parents so exhausted all the time? Because we have this martyrhood story of give, give, give, give, give, love, love, love, love, love, feel, feel, feel, feel, feel — and expect nothing from it!

That is not working for anybody and it perpetuates parenting burnout. So I’m calling on you to actually know your worth. And to rise up.

Knowing Your Worth as a Parent

It’s time to demand the best from yourself and the people that you love. To make sure you are putting your time and energy into the right parenting moves so that, in the end, you get emotionally paid for all of the invisible work you do all day. Because that is what will keep you going and what will ultimately allow you to keep feeding all of the people that you feed (figuratively and literally) all day long WITHOUT burnout. You deserve this care. You need this care. And the people that you care for deserve for you to be cared for this way.

I know sometimes it’s really hard for people to hear this and you might be thinking, “What in the world could that look like?”

Check out the transformation stories of the parents we’ve worked with. These families came to us feeling massively depleted because they were working so hard and not seeing anything change in their families. When they left us, they were still working hard (because parenting strong willed, highly sensitive kids IS hard! 🤣). But, because they had learned how to value themselves and put their effort into the right places, EVERYTHING felt different. Once you see the difference that your work is making in your kids and yourself, you’ll be energized by your efforts, not exhausted by them.

Reach out. I will show you how.